Wedding Etiquette for the Best Man, Groomsmen, and Ushers
Undoubtedly, the groom will want to choose a few good men-often his brothers, college buddies, and best friends-to carry out all of the responsibilities traditionally assigned to the guys. Once your fiancé has picked his team, he'll have to give them a few pointers on just what their roles and responsibilities are, so here's the lowdown.
A Friend in Deed
Let's start with the best man (the head groomsman) since his role is so crucial. The best man is an all-purpose kind of guy-friend, organizer, coach, confidant-with a lot of responsibilities.
In general, he must make sure that the wedding goes off without a hitch. When the groom feels stressed, he is ready with encouragement and a good sense of humor.
Traditionally, it is the best man who is in charge of organizing the bachelor party and making all travel arrangements for the bride and groom. He makes sure the groom and other groomsmen get fitted for and pick up their formalwear. He is also expected to supervise the other groomsmen and ushers, serve as an official witness to the vows, safeguards the ring and marriage license just before the wedding, and pay the clergyman's fee (which the groom quietly slips to him before the ceremony).
After the ceremony, he makes sure the wedding party lines up properly for the "wedding parade" through town, if one is planned. At the reception, he serves as the master of ceremonies, proposes the first toast, and remains on hand to ensure that all subsequent speeches are both short and sweet. His final duty is to return all the rented tuxes.
INCIDENTAL-In case it should happen that several notable people would like to offer a toast, here is the order of the speakers: best man, groom's dad, bride's dad, groom, bride, maid of honor, groom's mom, bride's mom, other friends and relatives.
And a Few Good Men
Of course, the other groomsmen or ushers are also important members of the wedding party. The are, in effect, the couples hospitality committee. Although groomsmen often do double-duty-serving as ushers before and after the ceremony-in may cases, at large weddings, for example, there are two sets of men: groomsmen and ushers. (The general rule is one usher for every 50 guests.) In these instances, it is the ushers who seat the guests, and it is they who make the first impression on guests as they arrive.
Ushers greet the guests and escort them on the proper side of the church. As tradition would have it, when a female guest arrives (whether she is alone or not), one of the ushers should step forward, extend his right arm, and escort her to her seat, followed by her spouse or date. (I am in favor of the more modern sentiment which suggests that this approach is incompatible with the whole concept of marriage and that the husband should not be relegated to trailing behind this temporary pair.)
Before walking toward the pews, the usher should ask which side of the church she would like to be seated on, the bride's or groom's. Generally, the right side of the church is reserved for the guests of the groom. Her relatives and friends are usually escorted to the right.
In a Jewish ceremony, this seating arrangement is reversed. And if one side appears to be filling up and the other side has noticeably few occupants, then this rule should be abandoned for the sake of appearances.
Incidentally, in keeping with the spirit of the occasion, ushers should not escort guests to their seats in total silence, as if this were a solemn affair.
This is a time for a few casual and friendly, yet dignified and quiet remarks.
Pews are filled from front to back, leaving the first several reserved for family members and close friends of the bride and groom. Just minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to begin, two of the ushers should escort the groom's mother and then the bride's mother to their seats. After the ceremony, they escort these ladies down the aisle.
It is the groomsmen who should be available to assist the bride's mother with any last minute details. Just before the bride makes her entrance, they should unroll the aisle runner. Another important duty of these men of chivalry is to arrange for transportation of the bridesmaids to the wedding site.
After the ceremony, as everyone heads off to the reception, it is their responsibility to ensure that no one is left behind. And, because they are largely responsible for making sure that a good time is had by all, they are expected to introduce guests to each other.
Modern day armor
What the groomsmen wear is largely determined by the formality or informality of the ceremony, and to a lesser extent by considerations such as location and time of day.
These days, most grooms, groomsmen and ushers rent their formalwear. The groom and his men should order their tuxes at least three months before the wedding. If possible, they should select a local shop, just in case last minute alterations are needed.
The groom and his men usually wear the same attire. To set himself apart, the groom may select a different colored tie, vest, pocket square, or boutonniere.
Sometimes the groom will present a memorable gift, such as cufflinks, studs or, if he can afford to splurge, monogrammed shirts, to be worn by these men of honor at the wedding. Given all that they are expected to do, the groom should indeed go out of his way to show his appreciation, even in advance, for a job well done.
RELATED ARTICLESTerrific Advice Concerning Destination Weddings As Shared By Two Gurus On The Topic
Today Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel.com & Bookpleasures.
Mens Wedding Bands - A Whole World Of Choice
Mens wedding bands are an emerging phenomenon. Whilst women have worn engagement and wedding rings for years, men are just starting to catch up.
Planning Your Honeymoon -- 6 Tips To Help
The groom traditionally plans the honeymoon. However, most brides prefer to be in on the honeymoon plans so that they can prepare ahead too.
Growing and Connecting with Your Spouse
Do you remember when there were no children in your life? Hanging out with your spouse was your first priority. You had fun going on dates.
Wedding Dresses - What To Wear
You have begun to plan your wedding and you want your wedding to be special and unique to your and your future spouse. There are traditions and superstitions that have grown around the wedding ceremony, the bride, and what the bride wears in particular.
Bridal Accessories To Complete Your Wedding Look
Bridal accessories are as necessary to complete the bridal look, as packaging is to a wedding gift. The wedding gown would be incomplete without matching wedding accessories.
Arizona Wedding Reception
The Arizona Inn is just the place that you are looking for if you seeking for neat and well-cared for lawns and trees combined with lush gardens and a serene view. Apart from that, this inn is also filled with fragrances of roses and oranges as well as eye-catching fountains.
Diamond Engagement Ring, on Two Months Salary - Maybe Not!
Diamond spending - well, that is up to you. What to spend on a diamond is a tough and personal question.
Bridal Hair Stylist Goes Above and Beyond the Call of Duty
You are locked in your seat on the most famous roller coaster in the world, the Cyclone in Brooklyn, New York. Your fiancé is right next to you, both of you dressed in wedding attire.
50th Wedding Anniversary Gift Ideas
A 50th anniversary gift commemorates a milestone most married couples wish to reach. What can you possibly give a couple after 50 years of marriage? The most meaningful wedding anniversary gift is one that comes from the heart: to express your love and appreciation towards all that they mean to you, how their staying married through the thick and thin of life has influenced you, to tell about the warm and loving memories you shared with them throughout the years.
Searching For An Affordable Mother Of The Bride Dress
It is absolutely possible to find a beautiful and affordable mother of the bride dress. It may take a bit of an investment of time and effort, but you'll spend that finding the perfect dress for you, regardless of how much money you want to spend on it.
Negotiation Strategies Especially for Couples
These guidelines will help you avoid the three most common negotiating mistakes couples make: 1) Failure to prepare before the negotiation with your partner; 2) Caving in too quickly to avoid tension or to keep the peace; and 3) Stubbornly pushing too hard for your own solution. Why Learn to Negotiate with your Partner? Conflict is inevitable for growth in your relationship.
Organising your Wedding Stationery
Of all the things you need to do, buy and organize in preparation for your wedding, wedding stationery is something that must be planned ahead. After all, you need to let your guests know well in advance of your forthcoming big day.
Should You Wear White?
White is traditionally a symbol of purity and as it was, traditionally, every mans wish to marry a pure woman to be married in white was a sign that you were indeed pure and a "good catch".However in todays social climate that is no longer the case.
Replacing Your Lost Wedding Ring
Imagine it's Halloween evening and you've just gone to the door to greet another eager child with your big bag of trick-or-treat candy. You look down at the grinning costumed child with a smile and share some kind words as you throw a generous handful of tasty treats into his bag.
Marriage Counseling: How to Keep Jealousy From Destroying Your Marriage
Jealousy has often been called the "green-eyed monster," and with good reason. The "monster" is fueled by envy and can over time devour the trust and harmony in a relationship.
Marriage Advice: Seven Marriage Myths You Can't Afford to Ignore
If you're like most people, you probably entered into marriage with a number of unchallenged assumptions in place. These assumptions may have been about what marriage is and entails, about love, or about your spouse.
Your Bridal Shoes: No Need to Sacrifice Style for Comfort
Think your bridal gown is the most important garment you'll need for your wedding? Think again! Your shoes could make or break your day. When your feet hurt, it shows on your face, and you only want smiles on your wedding day.
Reduce Marriage Problems: Go and Wake Up Your Luck
At one time or another, most of us have had daydreams about winning the lottery, achieving great fame, or having the perfect partner and living happily ever after. We usually visualize our imagined future good luck as something that will unexpectedly "come out of the blue" and surprise us.
Improve Your Marriage With Better Communication
Communication plays one of the most important roles in any type of relationship whether a professional association or a more intimate bond such as marriage. Many of these relationships don't develop into their full potential because the communication link is missing or weak.